PROFESSIONAL SELLER’S LIFETIME INVENTORY LIQUIDATION
Jun 19
7am to 7pmJun 20
7am to 7pmJun 21
7am to 7pmTerms & Conditions
Welcome to the sale! We are thrilled you’re here. Before entering, please review the following:
1. If you break it, scratch it, stain it, sit on it, or otherwise turn it into a science experiment, congratulations—you bought it.
2. All sales are final. No returns, refunds, exchanges, buyer’s remorse, spousal remorse, or “I didn’t realize how big it was” adjustments.
3. Everything is sold AS IS. If it squeaks, rattles, wobbles, or has a mysterious purpose, it is part of its charm.
4. Please inspect items before purchasing. We are good, but we are not Amazon.
5. Bring help to load large items. Our staff specializes in selling treasures, not deadlifting armoires.
6. We accept cash, and Venmo. We do not accept promises, compliments, exposure, firstborn children, or “I’ll come back later.”
7. No public restrooms. Plan accordingly. We believe in you.
8. Children are welcome but must remain supervised. Unattended children may be priced and sold as collectibles.
9. Watch your step. The homeowner, estate, and staff are not responsible for falls, stumbles, trips, or injuries sustained while sprinting toward a bargain.
10. Please be kind to other shoppers. There is enough weird stuff for everyone.
11. Line tickets are for entry order only. They do not grant VIP status, diplomatic immunity, or the right to tackle other shoppers.
12. Friday is full price. Saturday is 25% off. Sunday is 50% off. If you see something you love on Friday, remember someone else probably loves it too.
13. Holding an item means physically holding it. Staring at it from across the room does not count.
14. If you ask, “What’s your best price?” on Friday, the answer is probably the price tag.
15. If you find yourself saying, “I don’t need this, but…” you’re in the right place.
16. If your spouse asks why you bought it, simply tell them it was an investment.
17. If you leave empty-handed, please circle the house one more time. We are fairly certain you missed something.
18. Most importantly, have fun, make memories, find treasures, and help us avoid moving all this stuff to the new house.
Thank you for attending what may be either an estate sale or a professionally organized intervention. The jury is still out.
“This is either an estate sale or a cry for help. We appreciate your support during this difficult time.”
Privately Listed Sale
Description & Details
EPIC ESTATE SALE ALERT
THE ESTATE SALE YOUR SPOUSE WARNED YOU ABOUT
June 19th, 20th & 21st
7:00 AM – 7:00 PM DAILY
Near Kisker & 364
A professional seller (aka professional purchaser) is moving and liquidating YEARS of inventory. After decades of treasure hunting, collecting, and occasionally buying things that “were too good of a deal to pass up,” it is finally time to let it all go.
And by “all,” we mean ALL.
Featuring:
• New name-brand clothing, shoes, purses & accessories
• Mid-Century Modern
• Vintage treasures
• Antiques
• Furniture
• Home décor
• Collectibles
• Rare finds
• Weird finds
• Things nobody can identify
• Things you absolutely do not need but will somehow end up buying anyway
Pricing:
• Friday – Full Price
• Saturday – 25% Off
• Sunday – 50% Off
Line tickets available beginning at 5:00 AM each day.
Everything must go. Seriously.
We’re moving, and the new house does not have a “stuff room.”
It also doesn’t have a second stuff room.
Or a third stuff room.
Apparently, this is called “downsizing.”
Honestly, I have been dreaming about this day for 1/2 my life!
This is NOT one of those estate sales with three dusty coffee mugs, a recliner from 1987, and a box of VHS tapes nobody wants.
This house is PACKED.
Come ready to buy.
Come ready to laugh.
Come ready to say, “Who on earth owns this?”
Come ready to discover treasures.
Come ready to leave with at least one item that requires an explanation to your family.
Even if you don’t need a thing, stop by just to satisfy your curiosity about what exactly has been going on inside this house all these years.
Bring a friend.
Bring a truck.
Bring emotional support.
Bring a trailer if you’re feeling ambitious.
Photos coming soon.
Fair warning: once the photos are posted, productivity throughout St. Charles County is expected to decline significantly.
This home will be available for rent on or around 7/1. This is an amazing 4 bedroom home with finished basement in the Francis Howell School District. Must have good credit and proof of income. Details available at the sale.
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