Retro Resurrection: Where Mid-Century Modern Never Went Out of Style!

Welcome, treasure hunters! Thanks for your interest in our Heirloom Harvesters Estate Sale, where the stuff is great, the prices are decent, and the rules... well, they’re pretty important. So read on!

1. **Instructions Rule All:** If one of our team or a random sign tells you to do something, just do it – no arguing, even if this fine print tells you otherwise.

2. **Line Up, Folks:** We’ll give out numbers an hour before the sale opens. Just one number per person. No number hoarding – we see you, overachiever!

3. **The Mysteries of Pre-Sale Info:** Nope, we won’t tell you the price, condition, or whether that vintage lamp still works beforehand. You'll just have to come to the sale and find out – mystery adds to the excitement!

4. **Payment Methods:** Cash? Great! Cards? Sure! Apple Pay or Samsung Pay? Absolutely! Checks? Nope, sorry – you’ll have to convince your grandma to shop somewhere else. And yeah, we collect sales tax. The government thanks you.

5. **Parking 101:** Park like you’ve passed driver’s ed. Don’t block driveways, mailboxes, or Mr. Johnson’s lawn. Trust us, you don’t want to deal with him.

6. **Accidents Happen:** If you trip over your own feet, it’s on you. Heirloom Harvesters and the homeowner are not liable for gravity doing its thing.

7. **House Rules:** No food, no drinks, no pets. But service animals? Of course, they’re VIPs. And no public restroom. You’ll just have to hold it.

8. **Sold Stickers Are Sacred:** Want that quirky armchair? Slap one of *our* sold stickers on it, with your name and number, and it’s all yours – like a binding contract. No funny business with homemade stickers, and definitely no sticker snatching.

9. **Moving Day:** You bought it, you move it! Bring muscles, a truck, or a few friends. We’d love to help, but our team’s moving skills are reserved for snacks.

10. **“As Is” Adventure:** Everything is sold as is, where is, in whatever condition it happens to be in. Test it out if you want.