How many of these vintage toys did you survive?
These five toys will have you saying, "What were they thinking!"
1. Click Clacks
Who remembers Click Clacks? This toy was regarded so unsafe that the US government opened an embarrassing court case titled “United States v. Article Consisting of 50,000 Cardboard Boxes, Each Containing One Pair of Clacker Balls” just to get them off the market. The toy consisted of two acrylic balls on a string that would “clack” together when flung in the air. If getting knocked unconscious wasn’t enough, the acrylic balls also had a tendency to shatter, sending acrylic shrapnel into your eyes.
2. Vintage Satellite Jumping Shoes
This is a toy that seems to never go away - a form of it has been available for nearly every generation. Over the years, they’ve become safer, but the shoe’s early versions were nothing more than a sharp metal shoe attached to bed springs. Using these things put you one small step and one awkward landing away from a trip to the emergency room.
3. Snack Time Cabbage Patch Doll
It’s so cute until it decides to grab your hair and not let go. This toy was a flop for Mattel, due to a couple overlooked flaws in its design that lead to a full product recall. The Cabbage Patch Doll would eat items such as the included licorice stick, pretzel, and banana. When feeding the doll, a wheel would spin in its mouth and pull the plastic food into a backpack. The doll was powered by two C batteries held in place by a screw, which required a screwdriver to remove. To make it worse, there was no on or off switch to stop the doll when it decided to attack! We wanted to test out the danger for ourselves so we hunted one down and gave it a go. It really was an ingenious toy and the robotics were awesome. After feeding the doll for a little while, we decided to see how it would handle hair from a wig. Let’s just say it was one of the most terrifying toys we played with. Once the hair got wrapped around the wheel, it was game over. You couldn’t stop it from eating until the motorized wheel finally jammed up. The hair was so stuck that it needed to be cut or ripped out of the doll’s mouth. We don’t recommend giving one of these to your child.
4. Chemistry Set
The chemistry set has been an iconic toy for years. It’s gone through many transformations and has become much safer than its earlier adaptations. The old chemistry sets, such as the one pictured above, included experiments that suggested using substances like asbestos and volatile chemicals. When reading the instructions, we were in awe of the level of detail put into the experiments. If you had completed the experiments, you would’ve had a pretty thorough understanding of chemistry even at the age of eight. The instructions were written by a team at Yale in the early 1900s.
5. Toy Iron
This toy fits into the “girls should be housemakers” toys of the early 20th century. What makes this particular toy dangerous is not that you plug it directly into a 110v outlet, but that it heats up to 130 degrees. That’s hot enough to cause third-degree burns.